A knife in the dark

A random dribble of coffee on the table, a speck of pigeon feed on the cement, a quiet murmur in a tea room occupied by dainty ladies...   Whereas in my reality a swirl of discombobulated thoughts funneled themselves into a land called mess of insania. . .              

The horseradish, a small ambiguous plant in the food industry, holds only surprise and astonishment to it's new candidates. Horseradish is an acquired taste, sweet and deceptively calm until it's true colors are revealed. A burning hot fiery spiciness that refuses to leave, and masks everything else in it's wake. A jalapeno on the other hand, tells your tongue how hot it is.. immediately after you bite into it. You don't have to wait to find out, you know as soon as you taste it.   With horseradish, you don't know until it's too late that you should have taken a smaller bite. No choice now! With Jalapeno, you have the split second choice of spitting it out - no questions asked, you know how hot it is. In life, which do you prefer? A person who has multiple masks, or a person who doesn't own a mask at all? Sometimes culture will be the winner of the day, as well as  peer pressure, and they can create innumerable masks for the people held underneath them...

Yep, an age has past. Truth be told I haven't opened this blog for a good several months. It sat here in cyberspace, waiting for my return. 5 months maybe? .. no.. probably more. I've been studying more about how you say mundane stuff like this in other languages, than I have been in English  ;) I've trucked through a bunch of jobs this year.. Delhi cashier,  boat cleaner, varnish work at the boat harbor, private varnish contract, caregiver, English conversation partner.. and then finally.. and luckily.. where I am now - electronics builder . It's perfect. I'm glad I don't have three part time jobs again. I still have plenty of goals to accomplish, and I never planned to stay in California for very long. . and yet here I am. I studied hard, got my English teaching certificate, only to realize that the job market is very difficult. Somehow, It doesn't perturb me, nor disturb me, it's just a fact. Facts are facts, you just work around them. That's the ...

Well, after all the incredulous things that happened today, what better way to end the day then to summarize! Just a few smoky whispering thoughts that caught my attention today, a realization that could be compared to putting antiseptic on a wound. Like the clouds opened and a beam of sun hit the ground in front of me. That kind of thing ya know.  First half of the day, the fire was just getting kindled, and in reality, I hadn't even fallen into the pan XD I enjoyed life, drank coffee, reflected, and listened to some music. Of course, (and why would it be THIS DAY???? !!) on my way to work I became dreadfully sick. So sick, my boss had said I was turning pale. "What the????!!" I thought to myself, a mere 20 min could change my outlook for the rest of the day so quickly! :O It took me a few head bangs against the wall to realize that it was food poisoning. :P In the end, it was literal torture. And now, by this time, I was really cooking in that pan.. And yet despite fe...

Hey, can you believe it? IT'S MEEEE! after being unwritefully regretful about not writing on this wee blog of mine, I have come back to the war of key typing to post a poem! HAH Yes, amazing right? here it is, in all it's unadorned, unfashionable glory, :)                       Bittersweet vengeance  The leaves are falling, The rosebuds are dead, My life soon is leaving, With a bullet made of lead. My loved one has fallen, By hands of evil ones, By the brigands of Raulin, Who killed his own sons. Yet loved one I must heed, I must stay for yet awhile, To kill Raulin of foul breed, Detain him to eternal exile. My dirk stays by my side, Awaiting the battles tide. My shield is in my right, To subdue his power and might. “Cruel and foul Raulin, I shalt crush thee, And of thy brood I shall be free!”              ...

Sometimes, there is an emptiness, one simply cannot fill. You try to fill your cup, but there's a leak in the bottom, and all your hard work drips onto the floor. Finding a way to fix the leak, to fill the emptiness can be a very long process for some. Finding the strength to move on, and determination to find and fulfill you dreams can be challenging. Being estranged or outcast, can lead to loneliness.   But finding good friends, reliable, trustworthy friends, that inspire and keep you going can help patch things up. Your reasons for doing and living can be renewed and looked at in a different light. Yeah, life is like a freight train you get smashed by, you can't stop a train, but you can figure out a way to avoid getting flattened.   When opportunities are given, and doors are slightly opened, pull all of them open and see what could lie ahead for you. You don't have to do only one thing, you can do many. Do many things, and be many things.  If there's a...

Sometimes you only truly understand somethings value when it disappears. You've lived with it for so long you have forgotten to be thankful that it was even there.     The human mind doesn't want to acknowledge death, but it still exists. Its very real when the person your close to suddenly dies. Somehow you forgot how it was like to live without them, and now you have to. Saying a farewell for a lifetime is hard no matter how you look at it. You wish you had done more things with them, maybe even prevented the cause of their passing. All you've got are the memories you made together and the impact they made on the world. They are whisked away, and no way to know when they are taken. Sometimes it takes years for the pain to fade.  Enjoy the time you have with people, you never know whats around the corner. Cherish them, and make good memories together. Life is fleeting but how you take the world on changes the outcome. Live life to the fullest!